Please do not read if easily offended!
Recognising my desperation, the guys at chess club suggested dating sites.
Being a pessimist, I was doubtful about joining.
But still signed up.
Sole success came in the form of an improbable beauty.
Her profile picture drew me.
I’d always adored blondes.
“Far too young. Way out of your league,” my inner voice judged.
Then I read she sought “Hot times, with older men.”
After messaging her, surprisingly, I soon received a contact number.
Our initial conversation followed an unexpected course.
“The bio says you’re pansexual.”
“Can I ask a related question?”
“Ooh, go on.”
“Is there a role you especially enjoy?”
“SS uniforms. And cock!”
“I noticed your rune-shaped earrings.”
“Very good. Did you also fancy pounding me with your hammer of Thor?”
“I planned on going for a meal, first.”
“Sounds rather lame, Ken. The only thing I want to watch you eat, is me.”
“Hey! I could be vegan.”
“No need to play innocent. I’m a dirty girl.”
“Yes: I swallow. And I take it front and back.”
“I shall bear that in mind.”
“You’re a funny guy. Which is why I gave you my number.”
“It’s easy for me. If I need a laugh I just stand before the mirror.”
“Aw! You look quite distinguished, with your grey hair.”
“I’m starting to like you already,” I said.
“We live in the same city, Ken. Are you free tonight?”
My penis urged my brain to drop its qualms.
Remembering the last sixteen, lovelorn, years.
Five thousand four hundred days:
yearning for a woman.
Unending physical loneliness.
So intense, it felt as if I wore my own touch deprivation,
in an unseen suit of aching body armour.
Why reject this unique chance to gain relief?
Magda was pleasant enough, allowing for her provocative style.
Might she be giving me a kind of female “test”?
I’d surely often failed those, in the past?
Would I ever get such an opportunity again?
“You’ve gone all quiet on me,” she said, softly.
“Sorry, Magda. I got distracted.”
“Can you make it, tonight?”
“I have some videos, to get you in the mood.”
“That may not be necessary.”
“Are you coming, then?”
“Guess you’ve talked me into it”
I heard myself say.
This is almost the last of my old prose.
I was anxious over how much to self-censor?
While reluctant about excluding such work altogether
(as I’m blogging all types of past writing, not just musings and poetry).
Art on the blog is mine: I hope you like it?
Comments are always very VERY welcome!
Thank you for reading.
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