Poem 2004

Lassitude

 

Weak as a dribble
and too ill for sex
tired even
from dreaming
on another unwelcome morning
one look then
reclosing eyes
soon
doorways to nothingness
open in my mind
over absent possibility
wishing I was once more alive
in carnality
through city nights
with chance to be preyed upon
but here
just unfriendly dawn
blurred across the pallid sky
while this clock ticks
few neurons fire
temper’s flame burning lower
malady forms its closed sphere
I feel squashed there
by forlornness
like a bug.

Poem 1990 (4)

Insomnia

 

Night is so huge.
Lines mark my face
with memory.

Recalling a compliment
from her eyes
an arm intent on embrace
across our separateness.

Now lonely in this unshared world
anxiety clogs my heart.
Will I be admitted to sleep
at last?

I watch windows darken
while outside
through shuffling leaves
shake rushes of air.

Poem 1984 (3)

Inner voice

 

I remember your loneliness
dark nights without soul
familiar routes across the housing estate
so many chill evenings
walking through a silent valley
I saw you falter
on wet winter pavements
felt mute prayers
covet some sluice-gate to heaven
aching for starlight
legs dragging you back toward
a morass of bad dreams
that hollow house
its old fridge humming insect vibrations
those years drifting
insomniac
brain at ferment
alert for roaming dogs
or being stopped by police at two a.m.
they watched you
trailing your slug despair
along deserted streets
to a room easily lost
cold air closing over you
in damp layers
of pressure.