Sexualized offers soon began to arrive
after opening an e-mail address.
Promising male enhancement
Even dates with eager
I claimed to be a bit disturbed
being targeted these ways…
“How come total strangers know my wishes so well?”
I complained at chess club
in mock anxiety.
Attuned to such deviant banter
guys returned only laughs
My humour, also, may fall flat…
“You shouldn”t put yourself down!” Had been a response.
“Why let others have all the fun?” I answered.
Growing up criticised from birth, I found
when later aiming barbs toward myself
internal voices slightly mollified.
Identifying as a loser reduced effort, generally.
Achievement tended to involve discomfort.
soothing wounded egos.
Seeing great success can grate
comparisons adding irritation.
Fame attracts new tides of gossip
keenly seeking hidden flaws.
But then, versus appearance
run desires to strip away
our social roles
uncovering who we “really” are.
Though analogy would yet mislead
if beyond such roles
lay increased nullity.
less like shedding clothes
than tearing at the skin.
Or perhaps I’d just
for removing a mask
that might lift off
some part of
( Art on the blog is mine: I hope you like it.
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Thank you for reading.)
( anxiety / art / beauty / culture / depression / drawing / humour / life / lostness / mental health / poem / poetry / thoughts )