Cancer

 

It started after an evening meal.
The pain.

Five hours in I broke.
And phoned.
The helpline said an ambulance would soon arrive.
Not so.

All night dressed and waiting. Bent.
Stomach-holding. Sofa-bound.
Yet no-one came.

Ten hours later, I struggled off
to A&E,
alone.

 

Now doctors were taking an interest.
Usually a bad sign.
I got a little cubicle, to myself. Less stressful.
For an introvert.

“It’s not your appendix, but 
we’ve found a shadow on the scan.”

A shadow. I didn’t like the sound of that.
Vague, yet somehow ominous.

A colonoscopy was next.

Then CT with contrast dye.

 

Konica12856

 

The call occurred one Friday in October.
“Consultant wants to see you.”
“Can’t we talk by phone?” I asked.
“No. We need you to attend.
A nurse will be there, too.”

I knew, of course, my luck had gone.
Good news didn’t travel
quite this way.

“Stage 3 bowel cancer”
the diagnosis, came.
4 weeks til they cut me open.
Chopped half my colon out.

Yet blood leaks through such tumours.
They found me too anaemic, for the surgery.
During an iron transfusion I collapsed.
Caught a virus
in their waiting room.

Lungs congested, on the day.
Operation, thus,
delayed, another month.

More time to fret.

 

Finally
through December’s dark
at 6.45 (am)
I walked

across a rather quiet city
toward an opaque
destiny.
Amid those distant lights.

 

Taking in its sights.

 

Along

with the thought

of a slicing

blade.

 

Konica111739

 

 

 


 

 


 

 

Since being discharged from hospital, three days before Christmas 2021,
I’ve been writing a (first) novel.
Hadn’t quite realised how exhausting that would be.

Hence my absence from blogging.
Multitasking is hard for me. I feel a need for sticking obsessively at one thing.
Sadly, I haven’t written a poem since my last blog post.
I’m even anxious that moving back to poems might lose the flow of prose.
Its narrative arc, focus, and intensity.
Plus those inspirations for slogging away, trying to reach that distant summit,
of the word mountain.
(An actual end.)

As Cancer is my starsign, too, and birthday week has come around, again,
I thought to write a piece: explaining this extended absence, from WordPress.

I want to return to poetry, once the novel is finished.
Hopefully, before 2022 is over.

(I’m 27,000 words / 16 chapters in, so far. Past half way.
Slow progress. But my energy levels are low, due to chronic illness.)

 

Wishing a big

Thank You!

 

to all my followers. ❤️

I am very grateful for your patience.  🤗

 

I still log in (irregularly). Then, greatly enjoy other people’s writing, art, drawing, photography.
(And leaving likes.😄)

Sorry if this post seems tedious, yet I wished to update everyone on my situation,
rather than just let a long silence continue, unclarified.

I have not abandoned blogging, or poetry.
(Ab)Normal ramblings may even be resumed,
on here.
By winter time…

 

 

scan 22

 

Comments are always very welcome!  🌞

 

Bye for now!

 

 

 

(PS: Any art, or photography, on this blog is mine. Hope you like it? 🙏)

 


( anxiety / art / blog / blogging / drawing / illness / life / photography / poem / poems / poetry / prose / reading / writing )

120 thoughts on “Cancer”

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your work on WordPress. Your poetry has really inspired me a lot, and I’m sure your novel will be just as interesting! Wish you the best with everything. – Cat Kydd

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well done on writing 16 chapters of your book. That is amazing. It is going to be a very large book. I Co authored three books 📚 which were published in 2020 , 2021 & 2021 and I know how difficult it is writing. I am looking forward to your update once you publish your book. Congratulations.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Please stay strong Ken. What happened to you sounds painful and you managed to make the pain of life sound so moving and poetic. My father had colon cancer. It was difficult for my mum to help clean the wound after surgery but so important to prevent infection. I wish you the very best going forward, take each day slowly at a time. I wish you hope and comfort always

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ken, That’s a powerful poem.
    I am very sorry you have had to face this. Thank you for describing the experience that in one way or other we all recognize, or will.
    I use WordPress for my website and post my work as reinforcement and a record. What I didn’t expect were the connections, support and encouragement from other bloggers- the simple pleasure of seeing a like from someone who’s name or image one recognizes, but does not know.
    Thank you for your quiet encouragement. I wish you well and hope you continue to write and draw.
    Susan

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sorry you have been going through such a trial. You have a strong spirit which will aid your recovery.
    Interesting to hear about your novel. You seem well on the way.
    Finished mine over a year ago. 87,500 words. Unfortunately I think it is for a limited market as I wrote all the dialogue in Scots. Didn’t stop ‘Shuggy Bain’, but I think it took him decades to find a publisher! I am not compromising, however, as the dialect and register is how my characters would have spoken and it is not opaque.
    So, will be interested to hear how you get on when you finish.
    Get well soon!

    Liked by 1 person

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