I stopped to hear the wind
sound its pursuit
around my ears.
And stood
a while
(mouth tingling vaguely).
Thinking back
on being young
As one who’d
dared imagine
love
might soon
dislodge
life’s lonely treadmill
from
its
confined course.
But
then
(even in their emptiness)
perhaps
just these
remained
my
better days?
Though
yet such times
were still
suffused
by
trauma’s shadow
through
the memory.
By
darkness
through
the blood.
(The poem above sprang from a few unused old lines.
Left on scrap paper when I was 21.
They reasserted themselves before me:
as if discontented with their 42 year oblivion.
Seeking a return to the light, at last.
I felt driven to rework them, into this.
Strange being a poet sometimes.
I hope you think it works?)
And Now
it’s time for…
Blogstars 2020!
I discovered many excellent new blogs in 2020:
and wanted to share a selection with you…
Poetstars!
Leila at Leila Samarrai
Holly at House of Heart
Ra’ahe at Fallen Alone
Vallia at Vall.Grey poetry
Kim at The Cheesesellers Wife
Kristiana at My Screaming Twenties
Ai at The Vague Thoughts
Nikita at The Purple Hermit
Betty at Seasonings
Aneurin Gwyn at Into the Unknown
Melody at Melody Chen
Upashna at Upashna
Kaylie at A Whole and the Moments
Liv at she wrote
Viktoria at weird and white
Robin at WriterGrrlRobin
Euphrosyne at It’s Getting A little Dark Out There
Artstars!
Ritva at Art by Ritva
Monica at Monica Aissa Martinez
Hinglaz at Art by Hinglaz
Isadore at Isadore Michas
Vivien at Vivien Art & Design & Tutoria
Elaine at Elaine Fox Art
Anna at Anna’s
Rachel at rachel tremblay
Heni at Heni’s Happy Paintings
Marisa at Abstract Reception
Damian at Visual Faire
Photostars!
JJ Raia at jjraiaphotography
Angela at My Creative Wayz
Gothstars!
Jennifer at Vamp Jenn’s corner
Kelly at Twisted Libra Cemetery
I hope you will enjoy some of these?
(Also, a big “Sorry”
to those not listed!
As I currently follow 275 blogs,
putting them all here, would make this post overlong.)
Please visit my previous “Blogstars“
(from 2019)
For 26 more fine Bloggers.
(Including Candice Louisa Daquin; Devika Mathur; River Dixon; Gary J Steele; etc.)
I’ve only linked writers found since publishing the first version, in this piece:
to avoid duplication.
Did you find great new blogs in 2020?
Do you agree with any of my choices?
Comments are always very welcome. 🙏
Wishing everyone a
Happy New Year!
Thank you
for reading. 😊
(Art on the blog is mine: I hope you like it?)
(PS:
Meant to publish this during December, but got hit by another flu-type virus
(alongside my usual chronic illness) through the festive season.🤒
Totally sapped energy for contacting others.
And when the phone actually rang, on Christmas day, I felt too unwell to answer it.
Reinforcing the isolation.
So passed my 28th Christmas alone.
Anyway, with luck, none of you can top that,
for sheer dreariness?
LOL! 🤞🏻)
( art / blog / blogging / depression / drawing / life / love / mental health / photography / poem / poems / poetry / reading / writing )
It can be hazardous to health to rush into these things, Ken!
Well done. I say it works tremendously!
The image is interesting, too. Is it Steve Marriott?
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Thanks Nick! 🌞
Well spotted, by the way! 👏
Did that drawing when I was about 16, in 1972.
So Humble Pie were still together, then.
(Hope you’ll drop by again.)
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Well, you’ve captured him perfectly. One of my favourite rock vocalists. He would sometimes be found at the Cartoon in Croydon during the 80s with Pack of Three. Older, wider (not a typo), but still electric to watch – still doing that SF shimmy/shuffle! Ace!
(will do)
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Thank you for keeping and finding these words again and bringing them to light.
Your art is very different from what I have seen so far, but that’s great!
Between shades and colors, while they seem to be somewhat hidden to only be seen by some who see beyond them.
Or I am just interpreting it my way. 🙂
But are the people / faces shown specific people I maybe should know?
I really just want to know because sometimes they tell a story on their own.
Might seem that the one in the first mainly sang with drugs in a trial to see beyond the dark and gray. And the other one might have seen weird colors and forms, but still they were both in the same place and tried to escape the pain. But couldn’t.
Or I just interpreted something into two random images about non-existing or random people.
I can’t tell. But these art works are really powerful and the trauma and isolation can make such things. But sure people can also randomly do things as always, but you heart inspired art is the best and usually was possible through a lot of pain.
Hopefully I didn’t write something wrong.
And yes, well, I can’t top your 28 year record because I haven’t even lived that long.
And I also don’t want to isolate myself anymore, although I am still doing that.
At least through my blog, although I am very confused about it and scared and all, I found a way to open up and stay with it. Sadly I often don’t know some things I wrote or said and sometimes also things are paradox, confusing and maybe make not much sense at all. Besides the things about myself I still am scared of because they developed in horrible ways.
Sorry, in case I repeat myself and such things and I hope things are changing for good as well for you. Now with taking out old notes and I have seen some posts with photos of you when you were young, but didn’t read them yet.
I wanted to weep / cry a little now because I felt like it, but sadly it didn’t happen.
I wish for you better days coming and love without pain. Besides possible accidents, like hitting a toe or something. But without this hole inside.
My childhood with trauma was also “better”, in a way, but I hope, wish and dream of a way, way better future and better days.
I just don’t know what I am doing a lot of the time and whether I should do something or not.
For the moment I just try to let my heart speak and hoping for the best, while expecting the worst.
And now I almost cried again.
Okay. Thank you for reading my long text(s) with many words, but not much in them, it seems…
🥰💜
P.S. And is it right that you are 63? Or did I misunderstand 21 and 42?
Because then you would be as old as my mother. 🙂
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Thank you! 😊
Just to clarify:
The written fragments date from 1977, so it should have been 43 years.
(Maths was always my worst subject, LOL!🙃)
And, Yes: I am (depressingly) old (and unwell).
Those drawings were done in my schooldays, aged 15 and 16 (1972).
The connection between words and images is that 1972-3 was the most artistically productive time of my life.
So I look back upon that period as my “Better days”.
(Even though violence, alienation, and bullying, were also present, then.)
Since becoming ill, in 1987, the last 33 years of my life have been rather horrible, in comparison.
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I also have these “1 year” problems or placing memories in wrong ages, years and such things. And I had some teachers who were around the same age or even older. Some of them were great and age didn’t really matter. Although of course for their health it did a little. The heart is what matters.
My math experience was weird, while I got bad grades myself, I was able to help others with better ones. But I actually was good in it at first, before I got more and more depressed and robotic / zombie like. Somehow doing things for myself is almost impossible, while doing things for others seems easier.
And I feel very old (at least often), although I am young by age. Sometimes I also see things through the eyes of my childhood me, which often was way stronger and wiser. ❤
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Your poem has a deep visceral quality. Great that you’re able to re-work some old scraps into a powerful poem. Love it! x
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Thanks, Nikita! 😊
I’m pleased that you liked it.
(You are the first of my “Poetstars” to comment, so far.)
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Thank you for including me in your list of Poetstars. I feel honoured. 🙏
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And I thank YOU, for the pleasure your blog has given me, Nikita!🌞
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I’m glad to see your post. A very good poem and I like the drawings.👍
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Thanks, Ulle!😊
I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!☀️
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Just want to say hi Ken. Thanks for the poems.
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Hi There!
Thank you for the comment! 🌞
(Sorry: but I can’t find your name on your blog.)
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Your website is beautiful, congratulations
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Thank you, Alozade!🌞
I hope you will visit again.
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Thank you so much for mentioning me here!
Your latest blog is fab – is that your art work? if it is I really like it 🙂
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Thanks Elaine! 🌞
I always intended to put you on my Blogstars list.
And yes: all art on the blog is mine.
The drawings above were done when I was still at school.
(Actually, I always put a little note at the bottom of each post, hoping people like my artwork.
But a lot of readers may not notice it.)
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Thank you Ken for your lovely poems and blog star lists! Thrilled that you mentioned me! I always enjoy your posts! 🙂
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My pleasure Vivien!😊
I enjoy your posts, too.
And also value the support you have given me.
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