Better days

Posted on by kenhallettblog

 

Konica12526

 

 

I stopped to hear the wind
sound its pursuit
around my ears.

And stood
a while

(mouth tingling vaguely).

Thinking back
on being young

As one who’d
dared imagine
love

might soon
dislodge

life’s lonely treadmill
from

its
confined course.

 

But
then
(even in their emptiness)

perhaps

just these
remained

my
better days?

 

Though
yet such times
were still

suffused

by
trauma’s shadow

through

the memory.

 

By
darkness

 

through

 

the blood.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(The poem above sprang from a few unused old lines.
Left on scrap paper when I was 21.

They reasserted themselves before me:
as if discontented with their 42 year oblivion.
Seeking a return to the light, at last.

I felt driven to rework them, into this.

Strange being a poet sometimes.

I hope you think it works?)

 

 

 

 

And Now

it’s time for…

 

Blogstars 2020!

 

1_Page_24

 

I discovered many excellent new blogs in 2020:
and wanted to share a selection with you…

 

Poetstars!

 

Leila at Leila Samarrai

Holly at House of Heart

Ra’ahe at Fallen Alone

Vallia at Vall.Grey poetry

Kim at The Cheesesellers Wife

Kristiana at My Screaming Twenties

Ai at The Vague Thoughts

Nikita at The Purple Hermit

Betty at Seasonings

Aneurin Gwyn at Into the Unknown

Melody at Melody Chen

Upashna at Upashna

Kaylie at A Whole and the Moments

Liv at she wrote

Viktoria at weird and white

Robin at WriterGrrlRobin

Euphrosyne at It’s Getting A little Dark Out There

 

 

Artstars!

 

Ritva at Art by Ritva

Monica at Monica Aissa Martinez

Hinglaz at Art by Hinglaz

Isadore at Isadore Michas

Vivien at Vivien Art & Design & Tutoria

Elaine at Elaine Fox Art

Anna at Anna’s

Rachel at rachel tremblay

Heni at Heni’s Happy Paintings

Marisa at Abstract Reception

Damian at Visual Faire

 

 

 

Photostars!

JJ Raia at jjraiaphotography

Angela at My Creative Wayz

 

 

Gothstars!

Jennifer at Vamp Jenn’s corner

Kelly at Twisted Libra Cemetery

 

 

 

I hope you will enjoy some of these?

 

 

(Also, a big “Sorry”
to those not listed!

As I currently follow 275 blogs,
putting them all here, would make this post overlong.)

 

Please visit my previous “Blogstars“

(from 2019)

For 26 more fine Bloggers.

(Including Candice Louisa Daquin; Devika Mathur; River Dixon; Gary J Steele; etc.)

 

I’ve only linked writers found since publishing the first version, in this piece:
to avoid duplication.

 

 

Did you find great new blogs in 2020?

Do you agree with any of my choices?

 

Comments are always very welcome. 🙏

 

Wishing everyone a

Happy New Year!

 

Thank you
for reading. 😊

 

(Art on the blog is mine: I hope you like it?)

 

 

 

(PS:

Meant to publish this during December, but got hit by another flu-type virus
(alongside my usual chronic illness) through the festive season.🤒

Totally sapped energy for contacting others.
And when the phone actually rang, on Christmas day, I felt too unwell to answer it.
Reinforcing the isolation.

So passed my 28th Christmas alone.

Anyway, with luck, none of you can top that,
for sheer dreariness?
LOL! 🤞🏻)

 

( art / blog / blogging / depression / drawing / life / love / mental health / photography / poem / poems / poetry / reading / writing )



Published by kenhallettblog

I post thoughts and musings upon existence while living with chronic illness. On my blog you can take a break from relentless positivity, to indulge your inner lostness. My interests include: art, poetry, reading, writing, music, guitar, philosophy and chess.

107 thoughts on “Better days”

      1. Well, you’ve captured him perfectly. One of my favourite rock vocalists. He would sometimes be found at the Cartoon in Croydon during the 80s with Pack of Three. Older, wider (not a typo), but still electric to watch – still doing that SF shimmy/shuffle! Ace!

        (will do)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for keeping and finding these words again and bringing them to light.
    Your art is very different from what I have seen so far, but that’s great!
    Between shades and colors, while they seem to be somewhat hidden to only be seen by some who see beyond them.
    Or I am just interpreting it my way. 🙂
    But are the people / faces shown specific people I maybe should know?
    I really just want to know because sometimes they tell a story on their own.
    Might seem that the one in the first mainly sang with drugs in a trial to see beyond the dark and gray. And the other one might have seen weird colors and forms, but still they were both in the same place and tried to escape the pain. But couldn’t.

    Or I just interpreted something into two random images about non-existing or random people.

    I can’t tell. But these art works are really powerful and the trauma and isolation can make such things. But sure people can also randomly do things as always, but you heart inspired art is the best and usually was possible through a lot of pain.

    Hopefully I didn’t write something wrong.
    And yes, well, I can’t top your 28 year record because I haven’t even lived that long.
    And I also don’t want to isolate myself anymore, although I am still doing that.
    At least through my blog, although I am very confused about it and scared and all, I found a way to open up and stay with it. Sadly I often don’t know some things I wrote or said and sometimes also things are paradox, confusing and maybe make not much sense at all. Besides the things about myself I still am scared of because they developed in horrible ways.

    Sorry, in case I repeat myself and such things and I hope things are changing for good as well for you. Now with taking out old notes and I have seen some posts with photos of you when you were young, but didn’t read them yet.

    I wanted to weep / cry a little now because I felt like it, but sadly it didn’t happen. :/
    I wish for you better days coming and love without pain. Besides possible accidents, like hitting a toe or something. But without this hole inside.

    My childhood with trauma was also “better”, in a way, but I hope, wish and dream of a way, way better future and better days.

    I just don’t know what I am doing a lot of the time and whether I should do something or not.
    For the moment I just try to let my heart speak and hoping for the best, while expecting the worst.

    And now I almost cried again.

    Okay. Thank you for reading my long text(s) with many words, but not much in them, it seems…

    🥰💜

    P.S. And is it right that you are 63? Or did I misunderstand 21 and 42?
    Because then you would be as old as my mother. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you! 😊
      Just to clarify:
      The written fragments date from 1977, so it should have been 43 years.
      (Maths was always my worst subject, LOL!🙃)
      And, Yes: I am (depressingly) old (and unwell).

      Those drawings were done in my schooldays, aged 15 and 16 (1972).
      The connection between words and images is that 1972-3 was the most artistically productive time of my life.
      So I look back upon that period as my “Better days”.
      (Even though violence, alienation, and bullying, were also present, then.)

      Since becoming ill, in 1987, the last 33 years of my life have been rather horrible, in comparison.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I also have these “1 year” problems or placing memories in wrong ages, years and such things. And I had some teachers who were around the same age or even older. Some of them were great and age didn’t really matter. Although of course for their health it did a little. The heart is what matters.
        My math experience was weird, while I got bad grades myself, I was able to help others with better ones. But I actually was good in it at first, before I got more and more depressed and robotic / zombie like. Somehow doing things for myself is almost impossible, while doing things for others seems easier.
        And I feel very old (at least often), although I am young by age. Sometimes I also see things through the eyes of my childhood me, which often was way stronger and wiser. ❤

        Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Elaine! 🌞
      I always intended to put you on my Blogstars list.

      And yes: all art on the blog is mine.
      The drawings above were done when I was still at school.
      (Actually, I always put a little note at the bottom of each post, hoping people like my artwork.
      But a lot of readers may not notice it.)

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Dear Ken, your poetry once again is amazing… I love the structure and the choice of words and all this intensity ❤ And I thank you so much for supporting my poetry blog and adding me into your Poetstars list, it really means a lot to me ❤ ,3

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Hello, Ken! It’s such a joy to read your poetry again.
    Beautiful poem, as always: with burden of existence captured through beautiful words.
    And lovely art as always too!
    I am really glad to see you posted and am sorry for reading this late.
    It’s always a meaningful experience to read from you.

    How are you doing, Ken?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Such a joy to hear from you, and see your lovely icon on my site again, Harshada!🌞
      I was worried you might have tired of WordPress.😟

      As for how I’m doing: that’s a question I, also, puzzle over (LOL!).
      Being an M.E. sufferer: illness is constant, yet symptoms vary, unpredictably, from one minute to the next.
      It’s so confusing, even for me (after 33 years of it): I’m never really sure how I am doing.🤔
      (But I know the answer is not “fine”.😄)

      Thank you for those wonderful compliments, about my work, Harshada!
      How very kind. 😊

      Hope things are going well for you?🙏

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s a joy to read your work again, Ken.
        Haha! Things came up and i guess i almost forgot about this world here! Sorry for being gone so long!

        I cant even imagine what it must be like, you are so strong and brave, i gather courage from you.

        Things are well, i have started internship now, graduated and i guess trying to figure things out as usual 😂😁

        Warm wishes and lots of positive vibes to you, Ken! 🌻💛

        Liked by 1 person

  22. I really like your poetic style – someone used the term “viscerally” and I can say that my impressions match the chosen attribute.
    Very nice. I like to read your poetry accompanied by a very interesting visual statement.
    Thanks for the star you gave me, Ken.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. I think the poem “works” (is that what we want poems to do?) There is a melancholy that I wanted it to shake off but the last words of darkness through the blood made it intrinsic as if sadness was inevitable.
    I will have a look at some of the blogs you put on your lists. I am recently returned to blogging and still finding my way around WordPress.(My blog originated and existed at BCUK) until I had to transfer to here when that platform closed a few years ago.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, for your perceptive comment, Marika!🌞
      Sorry about my delayed response.

      Actually, I had not heard of BCUK, before.
      Hope you enjoy blogging on WordPress.
      (I still often feel I’m “finding my way around”, here, as well.)

      Like

        1. Yes: I looked it up on a search engine then read some of your earlier posts, Marika.🌞
          (PS: I only started blogging in 2017; and just have been on WordPress.
          So you are far more experienced in the blogosphere than me.)

          Like

  26. I like the feeling of your poem. Looking at some of the comments here I see you did the artwork when you were about 16, pretty good for that age I’d say! All these possible paths in life & sometimes it can feel quite arbitrary which ones flourish & which ones are taken away or simply fade away! It’s also interesting (stylistically speaking) how we are all so influenced by the era we live in, but perhaps that’s easier to see in hindsight & also about someone else’s work as opposed to one’s own! Thank you for visiting my blog .. Good luck

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Sonya! 😊
      Yes: as a teenager, the music of those days was sometimes directly reflected in my drawings.
      Things moved more toward abstraction, later.

      I also really enjoyed discovering your artwork, which is very beautiful.✨

      (Sorry about the delayed response to your comment.🤭)

      Like

    1. Thanks for those kind words, Deb!😊
      Great to hear from you.

      (PS: I’m not very tech-savvy, but just thought to mention that your notification’s blog link (debsdragonscom.com) fails:
      as the site address is “https://debs-dragons.com”.)

      Like

  36. Thank you Ken, for sharing your words and for connecting, I am indeed honored to get a mention in your list! I am starting my blog work a bit late this year, but reading your poetry was a breath of fresh air, thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Welcome. I had to delete it Ken.. WordPress censored my blog and I couldn’t assess functions.. they said they would never reply to my emails ever again.. I was very confused and the blog growth stagnated, it wasn’t fun anymore so I began a new blog. 🌹

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you dear Ken…I didn’t expect a reply! You are a kind and lovely soul…
        I know that sense of loneliness, of feeling heavy and struggling through days, and wanting to flee from those night demons.
        You are brave, and someday I’m sure, you’ll find a way out of these terrible nightmares… without realising you will have walked out of the darkness into the light. Trust that you are almost there! Keep writing, because so many of us reading, find in you a kindred spirit. Your writing reassures me that I am not alone! May beautiful days swiftly carry you to laughter, waterfalls and love. God bless.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you, Radhika!🌝
          I DO try to reply to everyone: though sometimes get distracted for a while, or feel too ill at the time a comment arrives,
          even forget, sometimes.
          But the guilt builds up, if I leave it very long, LOL!
          I was working on a deadline to publish my first post for 4 months last week (which went public on Sunday 1st August).
          Can only focus on one thing now I’m older; and the post kept expanding and changing until the last moment.
          So I put all comment-answering on hold until it was finished.
          Best wishes to you!🙏

          Like

    1. Many thanks for sharing your interesting perception, s.s.!🌞

      Hope you will drop by again.🙏

      (Please accept my apology:
      the delayed in replying to you was caused by an unexpected health problem,
      which has distracted me from WordPress. )

      Like

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