I stopped to hear the wind
sound its pursuit
around my ears.
And stood
a while
(mouth tingling vaguely).
Thinking back
on being young
As one who’d
dared imagine
love
might soon
dislodge
life’s lonely treadmill
from
its
confined course.
But
then
(even in their emptiness)
perhaps
just these
remained
my
better days?
Though
yet such times
were still
suffused
by
trauma’s shadow
through
the memory.
By
darkness
through
the blood.
(The poem above sprang from a few unused old lines.
Left on scrap paper when I was 21.
They reasserted themselves before me:
as if discontented with their 42 year oblivion.
Seeking a return to the light, at last.
I felt driven to rework them, into this.
Strange being a poet sometimes.
I hope you think it works?)
And Now
it’s time for…
Blogstars 2020!
I discovered many excellent new blogs in 2020:
and wanted to share a selection with you…
Poetstars!
Leila at Leila Samarrai
Holly at House of Heart
Ra’ahe at Fallen Alone
Vallia at Vall.Grey poetry
Kim at The Cheesesellers Wife
Kristiana at My Screaming Twenties
Ai at The Vague Thoughts
Nikita at The Purple Hermit
Betty at Seasonings
Aneurin Gwyn at Into the Unknown
Melody at Melody Chen
Upashna at Upashna
Kaylie at A Whole and the Moments
Liv at she wrote
Viktoria at weird and white
Robin at WriterGrrlRobin
Euphrosyne at It’s Getting A little Dark Out There
Artstars!
Ritva at Art by Ritva
Monica at Monica Aissa Martinez
Hinglaz at Art by Hinglaz
Isadore at Isadore Michas
Vivien at Vivien Art & Design & Tutoria
Elaine at Elaine Fox Art
Anna at Anna’s
Rachel at rachel tremblay
Heni at Heni’s Happy Paintings
Marisa at Abstract Reception
Damian at Visual Faire
Photostars!
JJ Raia at jjraiaphotography
Angela at My Creative Wayz
Gothstars!
Jennifer at Vamp Jenn’s corner
Kelly at Twisted Libra Cemetery
I hope you will enjoy some of these?
(Also, a big “Sorry”
to those not listed!
As I currently follow 275 blogs,
putting them all here, would make this post overlong.)
Please visit my previous “Blogstars“
(from 2019)
For 26 more fine Bloggers.
(Including Candice Louisa Daquin; Devika Mathur; River Dixon; Gary J Steele; etc.)
I’ve only linked writers found since publishing the first version, in this piece:
to avoid duplication.
Did you find great new blogs in 2020?
Do you agree with any of my choices?
Comments are always very welcome. 🙏
Wishing everyone a
Happy New Year!
Thank you
for reading. 😊
(Art on the blog is mine: I hope you like it?)
(PS:
Meant to publish this during December, but got hit by another flu-type virus
(alongside my usual chronic illness) through the festive season.🤒
Totally sapped energy for contacting others.
And when the phone actually rang, on Christmas day, I felt too unwell to answer it.
Reinforcing the isolation.
So passed my 28th Christmas alone.
Anyway, with luck, none of you can top that,
for sheer dreariness?
LOL! 🤞🏻)
( art / blog / blogging / depression / drawing / life / love / mental health / photography / poem / poems / poetry / reading / writing )
It can be hazardous to health to rush into these things, Ken!
Well done. I say it works tremendously!
The image is interesting, too. Is it Steve Marriott?
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Thanks Nick! 🌞
Well spotted, by the way! 👏
Did that drawing when I was about 16, in 1972.
So Humble Pie were still together, then.
(Hope you’ll drop by again.)
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Well, you’ve captured him perfectly. One of my favourite rock vocalists. He would sometimes be found at the Cartoon in Croydon during the 80s with Pack of Three. Older, wider (not a typo), but still electric to watch – still doing that SF shimmy/shuffle! Ace!
(will do)
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Thank you for keeping and finding these words again and bringing them to light.
Your art is very different from what I have seen so far, but that’s great!
Between shades and colors, while they seem to be somewhat hidden to only be seen by some who see beyond them.
Or I am just interpreting it my way. 🙂
But are the people / faces shown specific people I maybe should know?
I really just want to know because sometimes they tell a story on their own.
Might seem that the one in the first mainly sang with drugs in a trial to see beyond the dark and gray. And the other one might have seen weird colors and forms, but still they were both in the same place and tried to escape the pain. But couldn’t.
Or I just interpreted something into two random images about non-existing or random people.
I can’t tell. But these art works are really powerful and the trauma and isolation can make such things. But sure people can also randomly do things as always, but you heart inspired art is the best and usually was possible through a lot of pain.
Hopefully I didn’t write something wrong.
And yes, well, I can’t top your 28 year record because I haven’t even lived that long.
And I also don’t want to isolate myself anymore, although I am still doing that.
At least through my blog, although I am very confused about it and scared and all, I found a way to open up and stay with it. Sadly I often don’t know some things I wrote or said and sometimes also things are paradox, confusing and maybe make not much sense at all. Besides the things about myself I still am scared of because they developed in horrible ways.
Sorry, in case I repeat myself and such things and I hope things are changing for good as well for you. Now with taking out old notes and I have seen some posts with photos of you when you were young, but didn’t read them yet.
I wanted to weep / cry a little now because I felt like it, but sadly it didn’t happen.
I wish for you better days coming and love without pain. Besides possible accidents, like hitting a toe or something. But without this hole inside.
My childhood with trauma was also “better”, in a way, but I hope, wish and dream of a way, way better future and better days.
I just don’t know what I am doing a lot of the time and whether I should do something or not.
For the moment I just try to let my heart speak and hoping for the best, while expecting the worst.
And now I almost cried again.
Okay. Thank you for reading my long text(s) with many words, but not much in them, it seems…
🥰💜
P.S. And is it right that you are 63? Or did I misunderstand 21 and 42?
Because then you would be as old as my mother. 🙂
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Thank you! 😊
Just to clarify:
The written fragments date from 1977, so it should have been 43 years.
(Maths was always my worst subject, LOL!🙃)
And, Yes: I am (depressingly) old (and unwell).
Those drawings were done in my schooldays, aged 15 and 16 (1972).
The connection between words and images is that 1972-3 was the most artistically productive time of my life.
So I look back upon that period as my “Better days”.
(Even though violence, alienation, and bullying, were also present, then.)
Since becoming ill, in 1987, the last 33 years of my life have been rather horrible, in comparison.
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I also have these “1 year” problems or placing memories in wrong ages, years and such things. And I had some teachers who were around the same age or even older. Some of them were great and age didn’t really matter. Although of course for their health it did a little. The heart is what matters.
My math experience was weird, while I got bad grades myself, I was able to help others with better ones. But I actually was good in it at first, before I got more and more depressed and robotic / zombie like. Somehow doing things for myself is almost impossible, while doing things for others seems easier.
And I feel very old (at least often), although I am young by age. Sometimes I also see things through the eyes of my childhood me, which often was way stronger and wiser. ❤
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Your poem has a deep visceral quality. Great that you’re able to re-work some old scraps into a powerful poem. Love it! x
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Thanks, Nikita! 😊
I’m pleased that you liked it.
(You are the first of my “Poetstars” to comment, so far.)
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Thank you for including me in your list of Poetstars. I feel honoured. 🙏
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And I thank YOU, for the pleasure your blog has given me, Nikita!🌞
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I’m glad to see your post. A very good poem and I like the drawings.👍
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Thanks, Ulle!😊
I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!☀️
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Just want to say hi Ken. Thanks for the poems.
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Hi There!
Thank you for the comment! 🌞
(Sorry: but I can’t find your name on your blog.)
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Your website is beautiful, congratulations
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Thank you, Alozade!🌞
I hope you will visit again.
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Thank you so much for mentioning me here!
Your latest blog is fab – is that your art work? if it is I really like it 🙂
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Thanks Elaine! 🌞
I always intended to put you on my Blogstars list.
And yes: all art on the blog is mine.
The drawings above were done when I was still at school.
(Actually, I always put a little note at the bottom of each post, hoping people like my artwork.
But a lot of readers may not notice it.)
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Thank you Ken for your lovely poems and blog star lists! Thrilled that you mentioned me! I always enjoy your posts! 🙂
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My pleasure Vivien!😊
I enjoy your posts, too.
And also value the support you have given me.
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Dear Ken, your poetry once again is amazing… I love the structure and the choice of words and all this intensity ❤ And I thank you so much for supporting my poetry blog and adding me into your Poetstars list, it really means a lot to me ❤ ,3
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Thank you, for those kind words about my work, Vallia!🌞
I love your poetry✨
and always planned to include you on the list.
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Like 😏
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Thank you, Agimar!🌝
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Hello, Ken! It’s such a joy to read your poetry again.
Beautiful poem, as always: with burden of existence captured through beautiful words.
And lovely art as always too!
I am really glad to see you posted and am sorry for reading this late.
It’s always a meaningful experience to read from you.
How are you doing, Ken?
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Such a joy to hear from you, and see your lovely icon on my site again, Harshada!🌞
I was worried you might have tired of WordPress.😟
As for how I’m doing: that’s a question I, also, puzzle over (LOL!).
Being an M.E. sufferer: illness is constant, yet symptoms vary, unpredictably, from one minute to the next.
It’s so confusing, even for me (after 33 years of it): I’m never really sure how I am doing.🤔
(But I know the answer is not “fine”.😄)
Thank you for those wonderful compliments, about my work, Harshada!
How very kind. 😊
Hope things are going well for you?🙏
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It’s a joy to read your work again, Ken.
Haha! Things came up and i guess i almost forgot about this world here! Sorry for being gone so long!
I cant even imagine what it must be like, you are so strong and brave, i gather courage from you.
Things are well, i have started internship now, graduated and i guess trying to figure things out as usual 😂😁
Warm wishes and lots of positive vibes to you, Ken! 🌻💛
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Whoa! I only knew you had taken some exams, Harshada!😀
So what have you graduated in?👩🏻🎓
Pray tell!🙏
(If you don’t want it public, here, please send an e-mail.)
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I enjoyed this poem (and the drawing at the top!) and it sounds like your poem was largely a new composition, which is very cool.
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Thank you, Leslie!😊
Yes: the old lines transmuted; into something very diffferent.
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For about forty years I’ve kept a journal (later switched to a computer folder) called Unused Verse. It’s helped today with puzzling together other poetry/stories. It’s what some of us writers do.
Art
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Thank you, Art!🌝
Sounds quite handy; though I don’t have any unused verse left over, now.
Most of my old poems were destroyed.
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Ken, I think your poem works well, and I’m impressed by your artwork!
Thank you so much for including me in your list of poets. 🙂
Hope you’ve been having some good days so far this year.
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Thank you, Betty!😊
I only recently discovered your poetry, but realised immediately you’d be on my list.✨
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Another concise and true work. I also enjoyed the image. Keep up the concise and true work.
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Thank you, Erik!🌞
Yes: I also feel it’s perhaps safest, keeping my work concise;
as people have less time to get bored by it. (LOL!😄)
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I like the enlisting of natural elements to frame a human situation. Look after yourself.
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Thank you, Paul!🌞
An interesting observation.
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That’s a great poem Ken, very intense. I often work old stuff into poems. Sometimes mix two poems together….
Thank you for including me in your Blogstars!
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Thanks Kim! 😊
You were always going to be on the list.👍
(I’m amazed by your creative productivity, as well.👏)
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Absolutely lovely poem! And my deepest thanks for including me on your Blogstars list. I really appreciate it and am excited to check out the other blogs on the list! I hope you’re feeling better.
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Thanks, Jennifer!🌝
Your blog is great, and so beautifully produced.✨
(Hope you will also find something of interest, on my list.)
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So honored to be included in this post! Thank you for the support, it means so much!
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My pleasure, Kelly! 🌝
I really like the style and atmosphere of your site 🖤 🌚 .
Wishing you every success!🌟
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Thank you so much for the mention and your support, Ken! I feel so honored. Hope you have great years ahead full of beautiful writings and art 🙂
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Thanks, Ai!🌞
I’m looking forward to more of your beautiful writing, too✨.
(And I also hope you’ll post more of your artwork.🙏)
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I really like your poetic style – someone used the term “viscerally” and I can say that my impressions match the chosen attribute.
Very nice. I like to read your poetry accompanied by a very interesting visual statement.
Thanks for the star you gave me, Ken.
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Thank you, Leila!🌞
And yes (of course):
your place on the list of Poetstars was inevitable,
once I had discovered your wonderful work!❤️
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I think the poem “works” (is that what we want poems to do?) There is a melancholy that I wanted it to shake off but the last words of darkness through the blood made it intrinsic as if sadness was inevitable.
I will have a look at some of the blogs you put on your lists. I am recently returned to blogging and still finding my way around WordPress.(My blog originated and existed at BCUK) until I had to transfer to here when that platform closed a few years ago.
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Thank you, for your perceptive comment, Marika!🌞
Sorry about my delayed response.
Actually, I had not heard of BCUK, before.
Hope you enjoy blogging on WordPress.
(I still often feel I’m “finding my way around”, here, as well.)
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Sorry BCUK is my abbreviation for Blog.co.uk I had a blog there from 2006
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Yes: I looked it up on a search engine then read some of your earlier posts, Marika.🌞
(PS: I only started blogging in 2017; and just have been on WordPress.
So you are far more experienced in the blogosphere than me.)
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Thank you for this:)
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My pleasure, Devika! 🌞
Always so nice to hear from you.
(I hope you enjoyed the piece.🙏)
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I did:)
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So interesting to reflect on the thoughts of our youth. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you, Dee!😊
I’m glad you liked it.
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I like the feeling of your poem. Looking at some of the comments here I see you did the artwork when you were about 16, pretty good for that age I’d say! All these possible paths in life & sometimes it can feel quite arbitrary which ones flourish & which ones are taken away or simply fade away! It’s also interesting (stylistically speaking) how we are all so influenced by the era we live in, but perhaps that’s easier to see in hindsight & also about someone else’s work as opposed to one’s own! Thank you for visiting my blog .. Good luck
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Thank you, Sonya! 😊
Yes: as a teenager, the music of those days was sometimes directly reflected in my drawings.
Things moved more toward abstraction, later.
I also really enjoyed discovering your artwork, which is very beautiful.✨
(Sorry about the delayed response to your comment.🤭)
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Thank you for including me, I sure hope your new year is off to a great start!
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Thanks, Heni!🌞
Good to see you are painting again.
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Thanks Ken!
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Thank you Ken! An honour to be included as a 2020 blog star!
Loved the piece too – wonderfully introspective!
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Thank you, Kristiana!🌞
I have admired your poetry since the first reading, so you were early on my list.🌟
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It works beautifully and the b&w illustration is fabulous
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Thanks, Karen! 😊
How nice of you to drop by.
(Hope you will visit again. 🙏)
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lovely visuals in your poem Ken!!! Nice work! 💖
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Thank you, Cindy!😊
Did the drawings when I was still at school (around my 16th birthday).
(Hope you will visit again.🙏)
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You’re so welcome!!!
Very cool!
Oh I will! You to .. me-:)💕
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I like this! I love how you reworked your scraps of paper. Sometimes it’s good to revisit and revamp. Time and wisdom can shine light on our ideas and creations!
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Thanks Greta!😊
Yes: sometimes it’s good to revamp;
and I hope YOU will revisit, as well.🙏
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Ken, loved your poem Better Days. It was quite obvious it came from your heart – and your pain.
If you feel up to it at some point, can we chat? Let me know….
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Thanks for those kind words, Deb!😊
Great to hear from you.
(PS: I’m not very tech-savvy, but just thought to mention that your notification’s blog link (debsdragonscom.com) fails:
as the site address is “https://debs-dragons.com”.)
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Nice blog Ken, a lot of interesting stuff on here.
I am willing to help promote it to the wider world. If you want.
Cheers
Rob F
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Thank you, Rob! 🌞
I appreciate the offer.
Will get back to you on this.
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Sometimes those old little gems spark and you wind up creating a diamond. Enjoyed the post.
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Thank you!😊
I’m glad you liked it.
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I did, you’re welcome. 🙂
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Nice poem. You are such a positive person. Very inspiring
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Thank you for those kind words, Samina!🌞
(I hope you will visit again.🙏)
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Thank you Ken, for sharing your words and for connecting, I am indeed honored to get a mention in your list! I am starting my blog work a bit late this year, but reading your poetry was a breath of fresh air, thank you.
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My pleasure, Hinglaz! 🌞
I enjoy your work, and it’s good to see you are posting again.👏
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I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back in the future. Cheers
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Wonderful. 🌹
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Thank you, Amber!🌞
(By the way: I was wondering what happened to “Dios Raw”?)
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Welcome. I had to delete it Ken.. WordPress censored my blog and I couldn’t assess functions.. they said they would never reply to my emails ever again.. I was very confused and the blog growth stagnated, it wasn’t fun anymore so I began a new blog. 🌹
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I am sorry to learn that, Amber.😟
It’s quite disturbing to hear of WordPress treating genuine bloggers in unsympathetic and inflexible ways.
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It’s okay, everything is a blessing in disguise. Yes.. it is indeed. 🌹
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Wow. I knew twitter, facebook and you-tube were censoring people, but I didn’t know WordPress did that. That’s horrible!
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It is indeed. Caused a lot of pain. 🙏
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Just wanted to tell you that your scrap of paper kept from youth turned into something pretty powerful. Thanks for sharing that with us 🙂
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Thanks Justin!🌞
I’m pleased you felt that way about the piece.
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Wow! Your drawings and words are amazing. I pray you find some relief from your pain.
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Thanks, Mary!😊
I’m very pleased that you liked my work, and also for your kind thoughts.
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Wow, your writing is sooo good
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Thanks, Khosi! 🌞
That’s very kind of you.
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I loved your poem! It was beautiful to me :*)
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Thanks Branson!😊
Great to hear from you.
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I love the starkness of your lines and their depth!
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Thank you for your very kind words, Radhika! 😊
I hope you will visit again.🙏
(Please accept my apology for the delayed reply.)
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Thank you dear Ken…I didn’t expect a reply! You are a kind and lovely soul…
I know that sense of loneliness, of feeling heavy and struggling through days, and wanting to flee from those night demons.
You are brave, and someday I’m sure, you’ll find a way out of these terrible nightmares… without realising you will have walked out of the darkness into the light. Trust that you are almost there! Keep writing, because so many of us reading, find in you a kindred spirit. Your writing reassures me that I am not alone! May beautiful days swiftly carry you to laughter, waterfalls and love. God bless.
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Thank you, Radhika!🌝
I DO try to reply to everyone: though sometimes get distracted for a while, or feel too ill at the time a comment arrives,
even forget, sometimes.
But the guilt builds up, if I leave it very long, LOL!
I was working on a deadline to publish my first post for 4 months last week (which went public on Sunday 1st August).
Can only focus on one thing now I’m older; and the post kept expanding and changing until the last moment.
So I put all comment-answering on hold until it was finished.
Best wishes to you!🙏
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Blessings, blessings, blessings dear friend! May you be uplifted on a wave of good health and joy once again.🙌💚💙❤️💫✨
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I love how you’ve put together fragments of thoughts traveling through time…a trail to your past 🙂
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Many thanks for sharing your interesting perception, s.s.!🌞
Hope you will drop by again.🙏
(Please accept my apology:
the delayed in replying to you was caused by an unexpected health problem,
which has distracted me from WordPress. )
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Pleasure reading your words 🙂 Hope you are well and writing again
Cheers
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Thank you!🌝
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