Desire

Posted on by kenhallettblog

Konica128519

 

When day returns

like something never reached

Aflame
on the air.

Then
(O muse)
let me speak
from my dream

of her eyes

I so wanted
to meet
with mine.

(Yet
which always
stayed
behind their clouds.)

 

Just once
(Yes!)

Let me sing

while still
I lie
and seek

Imagined dawns

New-breathed.

Inspiring
to the lungs.

 

Or wish
for years
less lost.

 

As these
thoughts

attempt light.

 

Through
mere networks

of signs.

 

 

 

 

 

(Above is a piece based on poetry written aged 23.
I’ve felt unable to create poems, lately, due to illness.
Hope you think it works?)

(Below is a prelude to this post…)

 

 

Digital nightmare!

 

After logging in, unfamiliar sights transfixed me.
Waves of anxiety coursed through my body.
What was happening?

The screen now resembled a strange, alien puzzle.
A digital nightmare began.

The WordPress Block Editor had taken over! 😱

ARGH!!

 

(I soon nicknamed it “Blockheaditor”.)

Perhaps designed by geek sadists?
(Who’d decided we tech-phobes were not suffering enough already,
just trying to be bloggers.)

Being a humble poet: an image with some words underneath was all I knew.

Struggling against disorientation: a panicky nausea arose.
As if betrayed by a trusted friend.

Amid confusing options, I sought pathways to coherence.
Painful hours passed.

Finally, my nervous hand crept toward the “Publish” button.

Would this reveal success?
Or disaster?

Click!

I squinted into an electronic glow.

Had the words appeared correctly?

There?

 

HERE?

 

 

 

 

 

Have any others found the Block Editor an unwanted change?

It may be great for those with more ability than me.
Or who need extra features.

But I prefer freedom of choice to compulsion.

 

Comments are always very welcome!🙏

 

Thank you 👏
 for reading.

 

(Art on the blog is mine: I hope you like it?)

 

 

(PS:

Sorry for the lack of content, recently.
Depression’s been hitting me hard.
Motivation got crushed.

Intended to post at least once per month, but failed.

On the positive side, I’m still active:
following 277 people;
using the reader,
and discovering new blogs.)

 

Wishing you all well.🙂

 

(anxiety / art / beauty / blog / blogging / depression / drawing / life / mental health / poem / poems / poetry  / thoughts / writing )




		
	
			

			
						


	

		

				

					

		
		

			

				Published by kenhallettblog			

		


		

			I post thoughts and musings upon existence while living with chronic illness.
On my blog you can take a break from relentless positivity, to indulge your inner lostness.
My interests include: art, poetry, reading, writing, music, guitar, philosophy and chess.			
		

	

	


			
	
			



	
			

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    I just want to say this is brilliant. I don’t have many words right now.
    
I am just so much hating technology, yet it seems one can’t live without it.
    
But thank you for publishing this. nice drawing of la Monroe with diamond earring. 🙂
    
Wishing you a happy Sunday evening… 🙂
    

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    I enjoyed this. It has a feeling of weightlessness but also the weight of expectation.  Lyrical and floating. Well done.
    
As regards the WordPress block editor I fully understand your frustration.
    
I was on the verge of quitting blogging as a result of having to change, but found a block called “verse” which seemed to more or less fit. It was relatively painless!
    
Thinking about writing is as important as writing. 
    

    ER
    

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      Thank you, Eric!😊
      
That’s an original analogy, “weightlessness”, which I haven’t had anyone mention, before.
      

      And yes, I saw the verse block. May try using it in future.
      
But managed to do this post with just the classic block,
      
which seemed simplest, for a first attempt.
      

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      Thanks, Wendi!🌞
      
Lovely to hear from you, as ever!
      

      I hadn’t realised you shared my opinion: (probably because your blog always looks so nice)
      
and thought you might be pretty happy with the new block(head🙃) editor, LOL!
      

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    No worries about the content. Especially when you aren’t feeling good because of depression.
    
And about the block editor, I also had my struggles with it sometimes, so I see what you meant.
    
It is not a problem, when maybe some words are not correct or the design is messed up. As long as your message comes through and you were able to say and share, what you wanted to be out there.
    
People who care, won’t judge by the appearance or judge at all.
    
Sending love! ❤ 💜 ❤
    
– A stranger 🙂
    

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    I understand the depression and lack of motivation – I am experiencing it as well.
    
I, too, despise the new block editor and I don’t know what they were thinking. Probably to get some more money to make us pay for a higher level.
    
I don’t know if this will work for you, but I found a way to get to the “classic editor.”  I save the draft of the post right away, then when I open all posts to work on it again, when hover over the name of the post. Links appear beneath it and one of them is “classic editor.”
    
I have an older theme and I am on the premium plan, so results may vary.
    

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    Oh gosh, you aren’t alone Ken! In the depression, lack of inspiration, nor the blockheaditor.
    
I have two pages I made in the block editor which worked well for me, BUT for general posting, I don’t use it and use the old editor. I’m just glad WP made a (quiet) way to do this… because the block editor does NOT lend itself to poetry (though is “okay” for other types of writing, IMO).
    

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      Thank you, Tara!🌞
      
I’m sorry to hear you are low on inspiration.
      

      Also, I wondered, have you found a way to actually get back the old editor?
      
Or are you using the “classic” block (inside the new one), like me?
      

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        I have always written in html anyway, so it’s not too different on the back end. They are calling is “classic” block, but it isn’t a block at all. Now, I don’t know if it’s my theme, which is at least three years old that I know of, or what, but when writing on my phone’s app, I have zero issues, everything is as it was. Working on my pc, it looks slightly different, with a few minor changes, but not enough to bother me too much. 
        

        So I guess my answer is: in admin I selected to write in the “classic editor”, though on the pc is calls it “classic block”, but I continue to write in html.
        

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          Thanks Tara!
          
I’m not tech-savvy enough to use html, though admire that you are.👏
          
I only have desktop, and got forced into the “blockheaditor” when opening the “new post” screen.😧
          

          Using the “classic block” seems nearest to what I am familiar with.
          
Perhaps they put it in to stop some of us giving up altogether, LOL!
          

          (There’s a “verse” block, as well, but I haven’t explored it yet.)
          
Thanks again!😊
          

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            Oh?! I have not heard of the verse block. Though admittedly I have fought the block editor since they introduced it several years ago. Thanks for the tip because I think I’d like to look into it.
            

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    Hi Ken, I don’t have a specific comment about this post, I just wanted to say hi. And I suppose I, like you and many others, can relate to logging into a site one day and finding it’s ALL DIFFERENT! ARGH! Where did they put the whatchamacallit??? Anyway, I enjoy your posts and the artwork. Isn’t this online world amazing? Connections with strangers all over the world. Crazy stuff.
    

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    Love all of this. I feel like my 23 yr old self wrote the same. 😂🤣
    
I just started my site and it took me half a day to figure out the blockheaditor lol… so frustrating,  but I finally got it.
    
Also, try to get outdoor time in each day, either a walk during the day or even night. Makes a huge difference, and almost immediately!!
    
Feel better soon!
    

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      Thank you for your kind words, Samantha!🌞
      
Half a day sounds pretty quick, to master the blockheaditor, LOL!
      

      As for going out: unfortunately, illness tends to make me housebound a lot.
      
(A magazine article, linked to the (July) post “Fame!”, gives more info about my situation.) 
      

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        oh wow, i’m so sorry to read that – 😦  i hope someone is working on some kind of cure? i’m sure you’ve explored all sorts of therapies and remedies?  what a bummer… :/ glad the internet provides an outlet for you and connects you to people around the world! 
        

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    As to the WordPress editor changes, I’ve not noticed it as much. I use Open Live Writer for most of post editing for the past few years. As far as I know Open Live Writer for Windows only, as it’s a free and open source follow-on to the old Windows Live Writer. Works well with WordPress for my needs.
    

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    I hate the block thing as well. There is a switch (somewhere) where you can go back to the previous system.
    
I like “years less lost” and “networks of signs” – cleverly done.
    
Keep writing. Throw nothing away. Some poems need time and experience to complete.
    

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      Thank you for the feedback, Ian!🌞
      
And yes: some of my poems have taken a long time to reach their current form.
      
Afraid I’m unaware of any way to get back to the previous system, though.
      
(Please let me know if you find out how it’s done!🙏)
      

      (WordPress hid your comment in the spam, so I only just discovered it.)
      

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      Thanks Moises!
      
You’re being too kind. No, really, LOL!😄
      
The second part (“Digital nightmare”) was intended as prose, but I kept lines as short as possible for easy reading.
      
Does look a bit poem-ish, though. So I’m kinda flattered if you think of it as one.😊
      

      (Great to see you back: I noticed you hadn’t posted for a little while.)   
      

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        Haha, no problem.  Yes, I do think it is a poem. It’s good to see more of your work as well! Life has its rhythm, a time for everything, sometimes a break is needed. 
        

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    I am really fond of your poetry, as well as your strong indomitable will, which is pushing you through these challenging times that you are facing. I am confident that you will power through this and come out much stronger.
    

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    I really enjoyed reading this, especially the section on the WP Block Editor. Although I found the Block Editor to be a welcome change, there are other aspects of WordPress to which I find myself regularly cursing. I hope you feel better soon.
    

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      Thank you!🌞
      
Actually, I’ve nothing against the block editor as an option, but resent being forced into it.
      
And now I’m also curious about which aspects of WordPress you find yourself “regularly cursing”…? 
      

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        Hello,
        
I originally learned to use WordPress through setting up a wordpress.org page. I am not sure what it is called separate from the .com platform, but if you have never used it, the differences are stark. Of course I can still access WP Admin with this blog if I need to alter any of the settings, but to me, wordpress.com just feels a bit confining in its customization capabilities. I can’t really complain though, it is just an adjustment. 
        

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    I love “Digital Nightmare” and “Blockheaditor”. So clever. (Initially I wrote, cleaver. Freudian Slip or meant to be?!)
    
I just started posting again after a 6 year break. I’ve written up an Artist and Creativity Outline with a bunch of brainstormed notes that change as I go. I highlight in purple and italics to see all that I’ve accomplished. So easy to see what we aren’t doing, isn’t it?
    
If we remember we are our closest friend, maybe we’ll be kinder and gentler with ourselves. Breathe and go slowly. Give yourself a two minute hug, pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
    

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    Wonderful writing, Ken. And enjoyable artwork!
    
I’m empathizing with you, as I too have CFS/ME, (plus fibromyalgia, among other things). It all results in chronic writers block because of depression. 30 years now. (I just turned 74.) It helps immensely to know we’re not alone with this invisible illness.
    
Hang in there and keep writing and blogging as much as you can. (And yes, the block editor is horrible!) The WordPress community has been a blessing…. so many dear, caring folks here.
    
Thanks for visiting my own blog today.
    

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    Loved the poem and your artwork!
    
At first I found the new block editor daunting too. When I first tried it, it had been a month since I had last created a blog post, so I was nervous. Gradually, I’m getting used to it and I believe the more you use it, you’ll see it’s not too bad. Best wishes!
    

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      Thanks, Jennifer!😊
      
I’m so glad you like the post.
      

      And, yes, agreed: I may get used to WordPress changes, yet still resent being forced.
      
I’d be fine with the block editor as an option, for those who need its extra features.
      
(For me, it feels somewhat like having to learn how to drive a car, where a bike was enough, LOL!)  
      

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    Hello, there,
    
I like your candour and sense of humour in this post! Brits delight 😁  Everything has probably already said, however when we think we lack creativity something like Digital Nightmare and BlockHeaditor comes along. (Very clever btw). It’s also nice to take a break and enjoy other people’s work (really glad to have found your blog.) Thanks for visiting. Take care.
    

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    I loved it… very well written… keep it up… I’ve followed you..I hope to see some more amazing stuff by you.. 😊 Please checkout my blog too… I hope you’ll have a good time reading them… lots of love.. 😊
    

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        I had been out of circulation for some time myself and went to my reader to look you up. saw your last and some of the comment thread and wanted to touch base. Hope you continue to mend and take heart that in a little over a week the days begin to grow longer 🙂
        

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    Hi, truly resonate with your prelude. Something I’d been meaning to ask others too, good you wrote about it. And the art work is beautiful, your writing too. For one, I switch to the classic editor sometimes. Your poetry is also very smooth, like it flows seamlessly… Keep writing 🙂🙂
    

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      Thank you, Shalini! 🌞
      
I’m pleased to hear you enjoyed the piece.
      
Also, Yes: my poems tend to be structured in ways I hope will make easy for reading,
      
but with a sense of rhythm, as well. 
      

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    Hi there. I just wanted to let you know that wordpress has blocked my ability to like posts forever and they sometimes delete my comments. They have given me no proper reason except that I am not a human being, just a spam bot. So, to appreciate your posts as I cannot like anymore sadly, censorship is real, I will visit from time to time and comment on your posts. Best wishes, take care. 
    

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      I’m very sorry to hear about this, Amber!😯
      
It seems doubly disturbing if you are not allowed to appeal such a decision?
      
Thankfully, I can still see your posts on the reader, as usual.
      
(And, of course, you are always welcome here.🌞)
      

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    Wonderful poems and I love the artwork – I wish I could draw people that well 🙂 I hope you are feeling well now, and yes, I am not a fan of the block editor. They should give us a break with the choice to choose between the Classic or Block.
    

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      Thanks, Crystal!🌞
      
From childhood on, I always found art a lot easier than writing, to be honest.
      
It seemed to come fairly naturally.
      
And yes: I agree with you about giving us a choice of editor.
      
(Hope you will visit again.🙏)
      

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    Great poem – I agree with the weightless description, it feels very airy.
    
I hate block editor as well, so am still using the classic editor. You can get to it through the wordpress admin tab about halfway down on the left on the “my site” screen. Just click “WP Admin” and that will give you a “dashboard”. Again on the menu to the left, but 3rd down is the push-pin symbol (posts) – click that and it will open a little menu. Choose the top item “Posts”, then right at the top next to “add new” is a drop-down that gives you a choice of “Block editor” or “Classic editor”. There may be a simpler way to get into it, but that’s the only way I’ve found so far. I really, really hate the block editor…
    

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      Thank you, for the kind words, and interesting information, Kate!😊
      
Being a bit of a tech-phobe I’ve never really tried using the WP admin section.
      
I may give it a go next time.
      
(To be honest, I’m even slightly surprised they still allow such a “loophole”,
      
given their determination about forcing the block editor on us.)
      

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    Great poem Ken, I liked the idea of a love dreamt, an illusion of love almost – we waste too much time loving our own stories, we sometimes fail to see the love before our eyes!
    
Stay safe my new friend 🙏🏼😀🙏🏼
    

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    Hello Ken,
    
Thanks for visiting my posts – I really like your poetry here, and very sorry to hear you’ve struggled in these dreadful times.
    
I couldn’t agree more about Block Editor – a complete nightmare. I think (?) I’ve finally worked out how to circumvent it and carry on using Classic Editor, but sometimes I forget how to find that route in, and it drives me mad. If this is progress…
    
I did rant to WP and made the point that for a time we’d subscribed to the NYTimes on line version, simply because it’s simple clear text and photos – I just don’t want to live my life deluged with a screen full of ads or blocks of multicoloured images. But as you say once you get into Block Editor, it’s like you’re in a tricksy clueless blank screen – thank goodness WP wasn’t like this when I started – I would never have got off the ground with it,
    
best wishes for 2021,
    
Julian
    

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      Thank you, Julian!🌞
      
Yes: I don’t know how I’d have coped with the Block Editor as a newbie blogger?
      
(I still feel like one, at times, LOL!)
      
On the other hand, those recent beginners, who never used the Classic Editor to start with,
      
at least didn’t experience our pain: in having it taken from us, by force.😧
      

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          Thanks Julian!
          
I was told it can be done, via “WP admin/Posts/Add new”:
          
by clicking the arrow box (next to “Add New”)?
          

          Is that the method you are using?
          

          I’ve never created a post by this route yet.
          
(To be honest, I’m a bit anxious about something going wrong;
          
now WordPress have switched my blog over to the Block Editor, by force.)
          

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    Lovely poetry. 💛 I too am having a heck of a time with the Block Editor. We can opt to use the Classic Block in the Block editor, but usually the formatting disappears in reader view. Same with Verse Block. Paragraph block sometimes locks while I’m in the middle of writing or editing… super frustrating. I may just have to leave wordpress finally because of it. Which is a shame because I truly enjoy the community (most of the time :)). Anyway, thanks for the visit, and for the relatable post here. Sending well wishes to you. :))
    

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      Thanks, Lia! 😊
      

      How nice to hear from You!
      
(Apologies for my delayed response.)
      

      Sorry that the dreaded “Blockheaditor” has caused you problems, as well.
      
I tried another post with the Classic Block, but it seems to have corrupted the stable functionality of the “enter” key.
      
When I opened up a saved draft the large SPACES between sections had all been squashed down (to single line gaps).
      
The whole look of the piece was ruined. ARGH!!
      
Sent in a help request, but they took so long getting back to me I just published, anyway.
      
I suffer with anxiety already, and now worry, every time I edit them,
      
that my posts may get ruined, at random…😧
      

      (I imagine it took years of higher education to produce someone capable of creating such an unintuitive system?😄)
      

      Hope you will visit again, Lia.🙏
      

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        Thanks Ken. I’m having problems with the Blocks as we speak!! Super frustrating. I have to quit wordpress and reopen again to resume typing. And it all worked so well before!! Anyway, lovely to connect. Thanks for your visit also, and for the welcoming words 😊🙏💕
        

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          My pleasure. Lia! 🌞
          
I’ve been stressed out for days, trying to finish my Sunday post on time:
          
Needed to review over 250 blogs; selecting the shortlist for my “Blogstars 2020” piece. While unsure if it would all get messed up, in the end, by that Block(head) Editor.😟 
          

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            Oh wow that is a LOT!!! I have gone through periods where I immensely stressed about blog-goals I’d set for myself too. Take care of yourself and your loved ones, that’s what matters most, the rest is just “dust in the wind.” 🎶✨
            
By the way I love the artwork on this piece… amazing drawing of Marilyn. 
            

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            Thanks, Lia!
            
Glad you like it.🌞
            
Actually I don’t have access to the original drawing any more, but found a photocopy of it among my papers.
            
Part of the face is missing, here, and the whole thing got overexposed, because that copy was a reject. But It’s all I have.
            
(I think the actual drawing was better: with more details and shading.)
            

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            Did you make the drawing? I used to love drawing like this. Recently my dad gave me an old one I’d made and I was thinking of sharing it at some point maybe. On yours, I LOVE the overexposure, that’s what makes it so unique, she’s so soft, radiant, filled with light… it’s very special the way it turned out, truly. 
            

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            WOW!!!! Honestly… I’m impressed. You should caption them somehow… so many people do not use their own art (and don’t bother listing the credit) so people might not realize. Wow… I *never* got to this level of detail, I don’t think, when I was drawing… it’s amazing. Kudos!! I just wrote a quick ekphrastic poem on it, before knowing for sure you’d made it… was going to link to it. Hope you won’t mind? 
            

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            p.s. Now I’m re-reading and seeing that line you’ve put in about the fact that it is yours (around the halfway mark of the text) — so sorry, don’t know how I missed that before!
            

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