Elusive

Posted on by kenhallettblog

Konica1248

 

 

Phrases arrive.

Discrete.
Homespun.

Through various fathomless
apertures
of sense.

Like empty sprites
word-bubbles
flash.

 

Then these visitors
(vanishing)
shrink to a speck.

Cross reeling
complexities.

 

Weaving down
past deeper veils.

Where older shades
lay mingled
in their graves.

With an
enigmatic
trace.

 

And thus
(I found)
remained.

Only certain
broken

images.

 

 

Half-

purified.

 

 

By
dream.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Above is a revised poem, from when I was 23.)

I’m still unable to write fresh poetry, since a recent illness.
Post-viral depression eased, yet the creative spark’s gone missing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve spent more time than usual on WordPress in the last few months.
Enjoyed discovering loads of new writers, poets, artists, and photographers.

As a result the number of blogs I follow has reached about 240.
This is making it difficult to keep up!
(So far, I try to read every post from blogs I follow.)

Seeing my audience grow is exciting.
(I’m truly grateful to each one of you.)

Though I also feel quite guilty, for not following back all 
of those who are kind enough to follow me.
But the number (700+) seems rather large to make that practical?

 

I’d love to hear how many blogs other readers follow?

Do you think 240 is a lot?
Or am I being a WordPress wimp?🙂

Do you ever feel bad for not following people back?
Do you follow blogs you don’t actually read?

(I worry that over 300 may become hard to focus on?)

 

To be honest, I notice myself hesitate about following long-form, writers, lately.
Especially if they post more than once per day.

I’m much happier to follow those posting weekly, or infrequently.
Plus, art and photography blogs (which are often less text-heavy).

 

Comments are always VERY welcome!🙏

 

(Art on the blog is mine: I hope you like it?)

 

Thank you
for reading.

 

( anxiety / art / blog / blogging / drawing / life / mental health / photography / poem / poems / poetry / reading / writing )

Published by kenhallettblog

I post thoughts and musings upon existence while living with chronic illness. On my blog you can take a break from relentless positivity, to indulge your inner lostness. My interests include: art, poetry, reading, writing, music, guitar, philosophy and chess.

56 thoughts on “Elusive”

  3. For me, I only follow people that I genuinely follow. I only “like” posts that actually read and like. I try to keep my numbers on WordPress closer to 150-200. Beyond that, I won’t be able to truly follow people. I also believe I can only follow that many because I follow all types of blogs. Art, photography, poetry, short stories, personal…. etc. When I only followed writers, I kept it to 100-120.

    Personally, I don’t feel bad about not “following back”. Not everyone likes everyone else’s work. There’s nothing wrong with that. There are many people who don’t care for my writing or art and that’s okay. I have over 1,300 “followers” but in honesty, I bet only maybe 70 people are truly following me. So those numbers aren’t real. It’s like that for everyone.

    I think the best thing to do is to be honest with yourself and do what works for you without putting too much pressure on yourself. That’s my opinion.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thank you, for your very interesting response, Tara! 🌞
      I agree with almost everything you say.
      I’ll probably cut down the text-heavy blogs followed, from now on.
      May take on a few extra poetry blogs, though. Plus more art and photography ones.

      It’s a nice dream, to follow everybody back.
      But all those unread posts (on my reader feed) can already become off-putting.
      Especially when feeling unwell.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Hi Ken, it’s great that you can keep posting even though you’ve lost your creative mojo. There are ways you can generate creativity through mini exercises or challenges, I’ve seen a lot of writing groups posting online during Covid to get writers writing. Maybe you could re-work some of your previous pieces or write a response to yourself or to someone else, or an addition? It really depends on how you work of course, but don’t loose hope. I appreciate your comments about following, and yes we should only follow others that we want to follow and we should not have the pressure to follow someone back just because they follow us. It has to be a free choice and genuine otherwise it is not worth it. I admire that you try and read every post from the person you follow, that’s outstanding and you sound like one of those rare individuals. I think know and respect your limits and that’s ok. We try and be immortal, invincible, limitless which is great, but we are also limited and finite and respecting that I think is important. I find often in our world today people are working outside their comfort limits and exposing themselves and only causing damage. So respect yourself and your following-blogging community. I appreciate that you follow me, reading your words made me appreciate you even more and I am grateful that we found each other and can share each other’s work. So thank you for your openness and honesty, and ultimately vulnerability which elicits real connection. That’s what I’m working on at the moment, allowing for my vulnerability and not putting ego-shield walls up. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the lovely comments, Kceniya! 😊
      Yes: I have been re-working past poems, since unable to write new ones.
      (Luckily, some people seem to like them, so that can keep me going, for a while.)

      It would be nice to follow everyone back, as I feel really grateful for all of them.
      Yet 718 blogs seems too many, for me. (My reader looks quite crowded each day, already.)
      In future, I’ll probably follow more art, photography, and poetry sites, but fewer long-form writers.

      Like

  5. Ken, I like this poem , and sympathize with your seemingly vanished sense of inspiration, since I experience the same. It will return no doubt. What type of illness do you have? The art is very cool.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Ron!
      I’ve suffered with chronic M.E. for 33 years. Plus severe pancreatic insufficiency since 2014.
      In March, an unknown flu-type illness struck, and fevers kept recurring for most of that month.
      It left me with a depression, which has gradually eased.
      But I still feel empty inside.

      Like

    1. Thank you, Ann!
      Yes: I’m grateful for those who don’t post very often, as it lets me keep up with them.
      As a beginner, I was told blogging daily, or several times per week, is optimum. Now I’d question that.
      Whilst it may well be bettter for business, advice, news blogs, etc,
      I think it may put too much pressure on creative writers. Even contribute to burnout.
      Frankly, there are people who I don’t follow BECAUSE they post so much.

      Like

  10. To be honest I follow only a handful of blogs.
    I shut my first blog down, after I had some serious health issues and found the reset quite calming. Back in 2018 I followed more other blogs, but nowhere near your numbers.

    There is always a certain expectation connected to Follows, probably even more than to Likes, but I guess a lot of it we fabricate ourselves. On the other hand I guess there is no real limit, it depends on how you navigate all the Blogs you follow. If they all inspire you, feed your mind and soul, why not. If it becomes a nuisance to scroll through your reader, you might have to declutter, though. For me it is simply for practical reasons, I cannot spare the time and choose to spend down-time rather with reading books. 🙂

    I can relate to your poem, the somehow broken form related well to its content.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your thoughful comments, Lunarpoet!
      Your points are very valid ones, and I would largely agree.
      (I sometimes wonder how bloggers with thousands of followers manage this issue?)

      One of the reasons I use space to break up my poems, these days, is to try pacing the viewers eye,
      reinforcing rhythm/stress, in the absence of an audio reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Think not about the numbers who follow you, or of whom you follow. Sometimes it’s more satisfying with keeping up with those who regularly visit your post, and then occasionally checking out someone you haven’t visited in a while. There’s no way to satisfy a post-for-post visit– and other blog followers understand that. Peace.
    Art

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Art!
      It’s interesting to have feedback about how other bloggers deal with these things.
      I usually lookout for any followers, and familiar faces, when on the reader, to catch up with their posts.

      Like

  12. Awesome poem, Ken.

    I don’t spend a lot of time on wordpress, but when I do, I’m catching up on posts of the few blogs I follow or posting my own work, or both. So I keep my follows low because it does feel sucky following someone but rarely reading all their work since I usually don’t see it when they originally publish. And I see this on my blog, having close to a hundred of followers but having maybe 10 people actually reading my work on a regular basis. So I try not to play the numbers game, but I know it is every easy to do so and that other folks do play.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Moises!
      Sorry about the delay: we’ve had full on thunderstorms and lightning, here.
      Been afraid to turn on my computer, until now, in case it might get fried.
      Offline since Weds morning, so missed your comment arriving.

      Great to have your feedback.
      I’d like to follow everyone, because I’m really grateful, but my reader is already quite crowded.
      (It can take hours to get through them, sometimes.)
      And yes: most of my followers are never heard from again.
      Probably at least 90%.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No worries Ken. Yeah, it’s a common thing, you see people with a large number of followers, but the amount of people that regularly follow and have interactions with their posts is definitely lower. Not even just on wordpress, but you can see this on other platforms like YouTube as well, pretty interesting stuff.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Really like your poem, Ken. Let’s hope your creative muse returns soon! I know the feeling well…hahaha. As for reading others blogs, I’m a bit like you & tend to read shorter posts, though I have subscribed to Longreads! Hope you feel better soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Vivien!
      I’m delighted to hear from you, and Glad you enjoyed the poem.😊

      On visiting your blog, I was very impressed by the creative images. 👏
      (I don’t know how digital art is made, but would like to learn more about it.)

      Like

  14. Hi Ken, thanks for liking my recent post, hence why I’m here reading your engaging poem! While I don’t chase likes or follows, I really appreciate them and it does spurn me on to keep going with my photography blog. For me it’s more a creative outlet, a place to keep my best work together and share tips instead of keeping them hidden on my hard drive or in my head. I’ve really only started blogging this year (previously flickr), still finding my feet on telling more of a story with a series of images per post.
    I generally follow those that engage with me and engage with others, as I can see you do in the comments above, I might read a few random posts of a morning, but my life is busy and I would rather create than consume in my spare time 🙂
    I wish you well with your health and hope that creative juices start flowing again. All the best 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Hey! Beautiful poem and I love Your art! For whatever it’s worth: I stressed out about the same thing a few years ago. I used to try and view EVERYONE I followeds EVERY post. I was about 2 thousand emails behind because it takes tooooo much time and blogging became UBER stressful. Dreaded it. Walked away for a while even. At this point I’ve got a little over a thousand followers and have followed roughly the same number, give or take. I found what works for me is that, first off, whenever I follow someone or follow them back I shut off the notification. I receive emails for every like I get. Everyday I start at the oldest like first and visit/like/comment if compelled, people back. I can look at/read about 20 blogs a day. I spend roughly an hour in the morning. I am now only a few hundred behind but don’t stress anymore. Everyone’s busy. Lots of people who follow are just looking for follows in return and as long as I like what they’re doing, I joyfully follow back!!! No one seems stressed that it takes me a while to get around. And Lord knows I have followers who have thousands of followers but still make time for me now and again! It blows my mind! I say relax, have fun, find a system that works for You and don’t sweat it. It seems to me that we judge ourselves far more harsly than anyone here has time to!!! Cheers and Rock on!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the interesting, and detailed. feedback, Katy!👏
      I still haven’t worked out how many blogs I can manage to keep up with, until it becomes burdensome.
      Also, examining my entire followers list, recently, I realised that the majority had never interacted at all.
      They were “name-only” followers: going years without ever liking, commenting on (or, perhaps, viewing?) any post.
      Plus, some are no longer blogging; while others have their sites deleted.
      So the list of people to actually follow-back may be shorter than I first thought.🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Hi Ken, thank you for reading and liking my posts. I’m catching up on some of yours and so far I like. So sorry for not being able to feel like you want to write….😔. I’m fairly new so I try to follow and read everyone who read and follows me

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Hmmm. It sounds like you might have had Covid. I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough go . Poetry is such a wonderful creative release. I hope you will keep trying to find the words.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Hi Ken, thanks for liking my very brief posts…I can’t stand long-winded posts so refuse to foist them on others! I love your poems. My twins have lifelong chronic illness, they’re 21 now, it’s a huge struggle, what else can I say? Have you tried Medical Medium protocols? Many people have a lot of success. Wishing you all the best 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the supportive words, Hana!🌞
      I have done lots of detoxing, special diets, juice fasting, etc, over the years:
      though haven’t got around to the Medical Medium protocol, yet.
      (Think I noticed the book in Waterstones a while ago, but can’t remember if I checked it out.
      Will take another look.)

      Like

  23. Hello Ken, I like to visit the blogs of people who have ‘liked’ a post of mine (hence, I am here) at least once but follow relatively few, so your number of blogs you follow is a lot to me.
    My blog appears to have 1000 followers, but I think most of them appeared when I was on Discover once, all with lovely words of praise but not seen since! I don’t worry about it much now. I did to start off with, when it went from 25 to 700 followers in a week, like I felt I had a responsibility to them to post what I thought they might like but I shook that eventually.
    I just do not spend enough time on WP reading to follow that many, those I do are not simply because they followed me. There has to be some reason I am drawn to the blog after reading and looking that makes me want to see more. And I’ve followed yours now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the interesting feedback, Bear!

      As you mention, I also used to ALWAYS visit back likes (and follows), though it’s getting difficult since my blog has become more popular, in the last few months.
      I averaged 25 likes per post last year, and never dreamed I would get over a hundred (let alone over 200) which has happened several times, recently.
      It’s really wonderful to see them all, but I’ve had to focus more on the followers, than likes, now.
      I follow back about 245 blogs, at present.
      And I’d love to follow others, if only they didn’t post so often!
      Therefore, these days, I tend to prefer blogs who post once or twice a week (or less), especially if they contain a lot of reading.
      I keep my own posts fairly short (150-300 words), and am only posting every few weeks.
      (Hence, I’m still following myself! LOL!)

      Thank you, again, for your comment.🌞

      Like

  25. So many questions, wait let me think. Do I follow to follow and not read? I do read but sometimes, I don’t like and then whush dear WordPress doesn’t give it on the reader. The image was a bit, hmmm graphic I guess and poetry was not sad nor happy. Difficult to describe what it made me feel, maybe it went over my head. Yes, deep philosophy are not my cup of tea.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. That’s a big number either way, and congratulations for 2082 followers. I don’t write for people. I write to clear my head. Most of my posts are private. I started my first blog in 1998. So now I have about a dozen blogs online, not visible to public lol. I’m glad that we got connected though. I’m into so many projects at once. I never really get the time to visit blogs even if I follow them. I lost my job last year in March, I started a blog only for pandemic too. It felt surreal, I was writing history for new generation lol Right now I’m compiling my poetry, I didn’t display online, cos no publisher takes poetry which have had been published online already. I teach literature analysis but when it comes to my work, I can’t decide which one should I send for the competition or publications.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Eeta.
      If what you say about publishers is correct, then there is no hope for my dream to ever come true.😧
      I want to be published before I die.
      (PS: My blog has been quiet, recently, because I have been dealing with bowel cancer.
      Multiple hospital visits, tests, pre-op, and surgery, during the last 3 months.
      Was stressed-out, and worried I might die, but am recovering from the operation, 11 days ago.)

      Like

      1. Check out online competitions and publishing rules. Either one needs to have million of followers or participate in competitions to stand out and be noticed by publishers. Whereas self publishing is concerned, that’s over rated, I got into that, paid publisher etc. later realized it’s not worth it. I have same dream. Since I suffered my entire life with mental health issues and a heart condition so I lived in solitude and on medication. I won’t say that I understand what you are going through, I had a friend with the same cancer, every time he got hospitalized for chemotherapy we stayed with him in hospital. His all friends would come from every where and we would bribe the nurses to get extra rooms. I realized we can’t feel what others are going through. But we can be there to make the sad moments happy. And sending best wishes and prayers.

        Liked by 1 person

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