Under closed eyes

Posted on by kenhallettblog

1_Page_07-1

 

 

 

“The self is not enough.
But that’s all we’ve got.”

Said a voice
across
my dream.

 

Yet I sensed a
small bright
glow

emerge
within.

 

As if some light
had already
opened

the tick
of a tiny
flower.

 

Split from
its negative

through darkness.

 

 

Under

these

still-closed

eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Above is a poem from when I was aged 20.
Inspired by things glimpsed during semi-conscious states.)

 

Creating verse seems beyond me, at present.

The flu, with its fevers and headaches, has eased.
But post-viral depression lingers on.

Viewing the current lockdown, from the perspective of someone
isolated by chronic illness (mainly housebound and alone) for over 30 years:
it feels rather strange to see so many people now
struggling to cope with a slightly similar situation.

If symptoms improved, restless urges for social life would also trouble me.

As fate turned-out, the chances for love, friends, or normality, faded long ago.

Of course, current restrictions could, shortly, be lifted.
While my own health problems remain incurable.

 

I thought of writing a post about dealing with solitude.

Though I worry this blog’s reach is too small, and my circumstances too unusual,
for helping others.

 

Comments are always VERY welcome! 🙏

 

Hope everybody is well?

Have you spent more time online?

(I’ve found lots of interesting new blogs in the last few weeks.)

 

 

Thanks for reading! 🙂

 

 

(Art on this site is mine.)

( anxiety / art / beauty / blog / blogging / depression / life / mental health / poem / poems / poetry / reading / writing )

Published by kenhallettblog

I post thoughts and musings upon existence while living with chronic illness. On my blog you can take a break from relentless positivity, to indulge your inner lostness. My interests include: art, poetry, reading, writing, music, guitar, philosophy and chess.

40 thoughts on “Under closed eyes”

    1. Thank you, Wendi!

      Sorry for the delayed response, I’ve been distracted from my usual routine, today.

      Glad you like the post. That artwork is quite an early one, from when I was 15.

      (I was feeling down about the stats, again, but they’ve recovered a little since this morning.
      Depression is triggering those “Glass-half-empty” perceptions.)

      I hope things are going OK for you? 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So far so good, thank you for asking Ken……..I am sorry you are having a hard time Ken but write yourself some encouraging words for YOU to read! You should be proud that you have kept up your blog this long……write these positive things down and read them to yourself. 🙂 You deserve to hear nice things.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Such lovely art work and poem, thanks for sharing!
    It is weird seeing others complain about being at home and not seeing others as much, especially when your a home body. Makes me be grateful that I enjoy my own company. But it’s one thing to be by yourself by your own will and another because of health. Sorry to hear that it’s been that long, Ken. Hope you have made peace with it and it doesn’t occupy your mind and take you away from the present moment. Peace and love to ya, Ken. Stay save! 🤙

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Moises!

      Glad you like the post!

      To be honest, I still struggle sometimes, emotionally, with my confinement.
      The mind still desires what the body can’t attain.
      I suppose there’s a natural frustration at not being able to do things most people might take for granted?
      (Work/exercise/travel/holidays/friends/lovers/pets/driving/entertainment/sport/hobbies/etc.)

      Hope you are doing well?
      Is there “lockdown” where you are?

      Like

  5. Gday there friend. Thankyou for reaching out, I have been and still in quarantine. No internet for last three weeks, everything shut. Have today managed to get a cheap laptop and access, i was moved that you noticed a gap, because i felt strangely cut off even though i am a loner. Hope you are ok and safe. Peace and love.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nice to hear from you, Gary!
      (I’d wondered if you got the e-mail.)

      I missed you, of course, though it didn’t occur to me you’d be completely offline.
      (That sounds like a bit of a nightmare: I’d feel in limbo without the internet. (Don’t even have a TV.))
      And such bad luck, losing access during this “Lockdown” situation.

      But I’m glad you are doing OK (especially given the current health scare). 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

  7. I’m so sorry you’ve had the flu, on top of everything else. Your artwork and words are beautiful, and your spirit— and all this despite your confinement and challenges. “Inner lostness” is such a proper description for how we all feel now and then, though here I feel my own current cabin fever and isolation, pandemic induced, is so minor, in contrast, that I should shed it, for shame : ) Thank you for putting situations in perspective, and also thank you so much for sharing! I hope you soon vanquish that scourge of a flu, flus are no fun. See you around, and with best wishes— Peri

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Don’t been concerned that your words are insignificant. the poem is beautiful and as a 79 year old I share my thoughts about life and this world in the hope they were help or inspire someone else. We each have wisdom we have learned. Stats don’t matter. You reach those who need your words.

    Liked by 4 people

  9. Ken, glad you saw my latest blog and I just started following you. 🙂 I don’t have words at the moment to say, given that you have been in isolation for 30 years but I will say two things – 1- being outside with our current society is more than overrated 2- the internet with its negative aspects to it, does at least connect others that need social connections. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Dear Ken, I enjoyed reading your work. I do hope you get the opportunity of writing on dealing with solitude. Best regards and take care. Kceniya

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you, Harshada!😊
      (I think you are far too modest about your own work.)

      Please accept my sincere APOLOGY for the long delay in responding to this comment.
      It got overlooked somehow, and I only recently realised: to my shame.🤭

      Like

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