It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.
Could blogging create such side-effects?
Had the Muse rejected a premature goodbye?
During May 2017 I published a “last poem” (dated 2004):
having been unable to compose any for 13 years.
Next I began posting old daily notes ( “Lostness”) in weekly instalments.
Unexpectedly, these disconnected fragments started morphing:
Which felt rather strange, at first.
I assumed this would be temporary. But it kept occurring.
Hence the blog has become mainly poetry.
(I’ve even written some new stuff.)
As “Lostness” now reaches 2012, I worry that the approaching transition to uploading prose might reduce an already small audience.
There are also regrets, over not connecting more with others on WordPress.
Yet, being affected by quite severe levels of illness, just grinding out a post takes several days, leaving me very drained.
Thus, at present, staying focussed on working through an unedited backlog ( 7 years’ notes; 46 years’ prose; plus one unfinished novel) retains priority.
The greatest single success on this site so far is owed to a spontaneous act of kindness from the lovely Sara (of “Sara in LaLaLand”) who shared “Help! It’s my Birthday…” (June 2018) with her many followers.
Unfortunately views have declined since then. And no-one has been inspired to reblog another piece.
Though continual health problems stir thoughts of giving up blogging,
people’s likes and comments encourage my pushing on, despite the pain, each week.
here’s a photo of me from happier times:
Thank you all for reading!
( Art on the blog is mine: I hope you like it?
Comments are always welcome!
I’m extremely isolated, so hearing from others makes a real difference to my day.)
( anxiety / art / blog / depression / drawing / illness / life / lostness / mental health / poem / poetry / thoughts / writing )