Prideful spirit

 

konica124971.jpg

 

 

Lostness   (99)

 

 

I search across the lighted page…

This portal made for mass distraction
holds me in its net.

More interesting than my time offline
here bearing social emptiness.

Languishing alone
unseen.
These many years beyond
all human care
or touch.

And being ill
enduring pain
our mind can start to thirst
for greater agency
chafing amid helplessness
under ruthless viral force.

 

Remembering
I met a few who chose
assertive faiths

which conjured up a
self-projected world
where things seemed props
around their stage
as animated nature
somehow
manifested will.

Such prideful spirit
set against soft pity
weakness, limits: could
then lead to blaming
patients for disease.

(Rationing our sympathy lets
conscience free, conveniently.
Recalling one I heard
excuse compassion’s loss
when that shrinking quality, in him,
appeared
already quite worn out
before it had been used.)

 

Just presume we did attain
a vision clear from
comforting delusion’s balm:
need this leave us much
except an uninspiring truth?

 

 

Confessing, though

(while knowing none might die
with inbox vacant)

I still aspired to closure
after realising
any life
including mine

should likely
stay
unfinished

even

as it
ends.

 

 

 

(2011)

 


 

(Art on the blog is by me: I hope you like it?

Comments are very welcome!

Have a virus which is thickening brain-fog.
Unsure if my writing works due to disorientation effects: making me slightly word-blind.

I’m finding it difficult to carry on blogging due to illness. Views are down; follows almost stagnant, sharing non-existent.
Feeling at a low ebb. Don’t know how to turn things around. Could anyone help?

Thank you for reading.)

 


(art / beauty / blog / culture / depression / drawing / illness / life / lostness / mental health / poem / poetry / thoughts )

 

 

4 thoughts on “Prideful spirit”

  1. A writer who can illustrate his own art… how I envy that gift! How I wish I had words of encouragement regarding carrying on blogging when you are ill. In my case, blogging pulled me out of a difficult period of my life (post spectacular burnout) almost exactly one year ago but as I will likely always tire easily, I discovered this past fall that I must carefully pace myself. Had to take a three-month break to recuperate but still only crawling along. The only thing I can think to say is, be (very) kind to yourself. Write (and paint) when it brings you anything positive. Rest when you must. Put the difficult stuff on paper and try to wave goodbye to it. Hope this helps…💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Patti!

      But, unfortunately I have not felt able to do any artwork for 28 years.
      So it is also a source of deep sadness for me.
      Most drawings date from my teenage years (the one on this post from 1974, age 18).
      I use the blog to give them some chance to be seen.

      Liked by 1 person

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