Opening notes

Daily notes  (1)

 

Lostness  (8)

 

Participatory evolution: We reach into our genes to begin playing with ourselves.

 

Loneliness can be exacerbated by human contact.  Some relationships would fracture from honesty.
Yet this hunger remains for a love I have never experienced.  Inside me contend both need for connection and recognition of its improbability.
Isolation is also a defence.                                                                                  (7/12/1978)

 

As armour against compassion winners may assume their status is simply a matter of justice.

Religion is not beyond the sphere of human vanity.

One danger of questions: by casting them in a certain form we are led toward compatible answers. 

 

A flow of perceptions and memory.  Can we extrapolate “Self” from this: like the projectionist in our cranial cinema?  What if we find his room empty except for a turning mechanism?
If I am always becoming, along some stream of present moments, where is a complete self to be found?                                                                                               (14/12/1978)

 

Sensitive sons?

Of a father who appeared so dominant that only by passivity might his rage, at any rival maleness, be avoided.
Yet a father who demanded this intimidated son be strong, active, masculine.
Creating a personality afraid to be assertive, and ashamed of its fear.

I wrote this thinking of Kafka. But perhaps I was describing myself?

 

 

 

 

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